Every day I get this feeling. Any kind of loud consistent noise, of a humming sort, sets off an anxiety attack. I feel weak, powerless, like I am in one of my childhood nightmares. Those nightmares were horrible, a place I never wanted to be again. I was always in a land of sleep called Slumber-land. I was small, about five years old and I had to make all the beds, but I couldn’t. The more I tried, the smaller I got until the bed sheets and blankets consumed me. Then my mum starts to yell at me in that shrill voice only a mom could get. Here is where I would wake up.
Now, I have this feeling while fully awake, as if I am being screamed at, punished. Fear resides in my heart and mind constantly. I lay in bed awake at night wishing for the feeling to stop. I can’t sleep. I can’t sit there in the dark waiting for it to end.